~"Whoever invented
friendship used you as the prototype." - Moe to Simon~
Flying Saucer
At
first a malfunctioning, exploding, cantankerous mess, Simon's flying saucer
would redeem itself by winning a showdown against mobster Joe Pransky &
saving the day.
The saucer was swift & graceful in flight. The featured capability was
a laser gun, which Simon only used to disarm Mr. Pransky. Floats like a
radio controlled butterfly, stings like a radio controlled bee.
Although Simon did develop prototypes for the government from time to time, his
refusal to have anything more to do with weapons development makes it highly
probable that the flying saucer was a toy Simon had created for himself.
He certainly wouldn't have put it on the market with the laser feature attached.
Since
the only time we get to see this invention is on Simon's very bad day, all of
the capabilities of the Mobile Smoke Detector are not know. Taking the
inventive thoroughness of The Wizard into account, it was probably also equipped
with a fire detector & fire extinguisher.
The black box on wheels did don a bright red fire helmet to make it easily
identifiable. On a good day, it is meant to move about & yell
"Fire!" when smoke &/or flame is detected.
Edible Silverware was the very first collaborative brain-child of Teenie Weenie
& Mighty Moe, the greatest inventing team in the universe. The details
of this invention are never revealed, but, considering the magical sense of
humor of the inventors, they must have been as funny & fun as the idea
implies. We do know that it was meant to be both historic & useful to
mankind. Inasmuch as that remains to be seen, you can still have fun
imagining the possibilities.
Imagine having less dishes to clean up because you've eaten half of them.
That's a major selling point right there. It will also end at least one
argument when it comes to the truly proper way to stack the dishwasher.
Imagine having to decide which table setting will or won't clash with your
meal. Imagine having more flavors of silverware than of ice cream.
Imagine mixing & matching your ice cream & spoon to create a truly
unique flavor.
When
is a carpet bag more than just a carpet bag? When it belongs to Simon
McKay, of course.
Equipped with a motor, rudder, blimp, joy stick &
control panel it becomes the
ultimate in emergency transportation. Perhaps a bit rough in landing, but
it certainly faired better than Alex's sports car in this rescue mission.
Ever
had an idea you just knew would work & was brilliant, then got disappointed
enough at the end result to give up in disgust, but found out after some
tinkering that you were right in the first place? For Moe Krellman, that
was the Ultrason.
The
Utrasonic Decomposition Projector was meant to disintegrate waste which could
not be salvaged or recycled. Used for good, it could help rid the world of
garbage dumps by using the same sonic wave technology modern medicine still uses
to safely break up kidney stones inside the human body.
The Ultrason looked something like a futuristic double barreled laser gun atop a
tripod & was powerful enough to work up to 500 feet away from it's
target. It was also powerful enough to penetrate the walls of a safe
disintegrating anything inside. The barrels moved independently, each with
a trigger at the handle's end. The base of the Ultrason pivoted on the
tripod so that the device could be aimed in almost any direction.
Since
the invention of bars & railings there have been humans & animals alike
who find themselves stuck in between them. Whether the unfortunate being
finds itself stuck through curiosity, a dare, or (in Simon's case) put there by
a well-meaning friend trying to help them escape, Goop Spray will help to free
the captive without having to cut the bars or railings. The spray looks
something like silly string & works like butter or grease allowing the
captive to slide through to safety without making a big mess.
It's not known if Goop Spray
will stain clothes, but when one is stuck between the iron bars of a window
while trying to escape from certain death at a mobster's drop house, does it
really matter?
Small
enough to fit in Simon's carpet bag & powerful enough to pull iron bars off
of a window. The secret? Special claws secreted in the back wheels.
Just turn the back wheels clockwise to reveal the claws. Those claws help
the truck gain extra traction by digging into the ground as the back wheels
turn, thus making it more powerful than a 'real' tow truck.
Like
the Flying Saucer, this radio controlled toy might just have been one Simon
created for himself. The fireman, which ran up & down the extending
ladder of the truck, wielded an axe sharp enough to chop through the ropes which
bound Alex's wrists. Not a feature Simon would have allowed on the market
for safety reasons. It did, however, come in very handy when there was no
other way to free Alex.