Tall Tale Tillie - 1st Draft Script - June 24, 1986
September 16, 1986
Script Written for The Wizard of Elm Street
Written by Michael Berk & Douglas Schwartz
EXT. HONG HONK - NIGHT (STOCK) - 1
City of mystery . . . Intrigue . . . At the docks, junks moored amidst the giant freighters.'
INT. FREIGHTER - CAPITAN ELI AKERS - NIGHT - 2
Sixties, a lifetime of adventure at sea etched in his weathered face, stands tall in front of two MUSCULAR MEN (one of them Oriental) who stop him from entering the ship's forward hold.
CAPITAIN AKERS (with dignity)
This is my ship. I'll not up anchor until my eyes personally see the cargo in her hold.
A hand grips the Captain's shoulder. Jenks, a renegade, ex-CIA operative in his forties, turns the Captain around, his eyes betraying his smile.
Captain Akers, these men are carrying out instructions from the Pearl's new owner. Why not concern yourself with her safe passage to the States.
I don't give a rollin' hitch who owns her. Long as I'm captain she's my ship! And I know everything that goes on aboard my ship!
Despite his age, this strong, virile man pushes Jenks aside & moves towards the cargo hold, but the two guards subdue him.
INT. FREIGHTER CABIN - NIGHT - 3
PULL BACK FROM a porthole TO REVEAL a large cabin that seems out of place aboard a freighter. MUSIC from a MUSIC BOX sets the tone. Mist rising from humidifiers swirls in bright grow lights. Lush tropical plants flourish. Against one wall a highly sophisticated bank of computers monitors International Stock Exchanges, commodities markets, international shipping movements. A man's hands program the computer keyboard. There's strength here. Confidence. Elegance. A distinctive ring encircles his middle finger. This is TROYAN, a man whose face we never see . . . at least not yet.
ANGLE - JENKS - 4
obediently waits near Troyan's collection of music boxes until his boss is finished. Then:
And what about Captain Akers?
CLOSE ON A BEAUTIFUL FLOWER - 5
extending out from a neatly-trimmed, tropical plant. Troyan's hand ENTERS FRAME holding a highly-polished pair of pruning shears. He speaks in a voice that is simultaneously calm & intense.
TROYAN (o.s.) (off screen)
When a flower grows too far from the stalk it threatens the symmetry of the plant. There is only one option open.
Troyan coldly cuts the flower off & it drops to the floor, petals scattering by Troyan's expensive slippers. As the music box continues to play:
INT. SIMON'S HOUSE - CLOSE ON A CHILD'S HAND - WORKSHOP - DAY - 6
Deftly moves the joy stick of a video game. PAN TO the hands of her opponent on the other controller. The second player's fingers are long, hairy & without the benefit of an opposable thumb. As he deftly controls his joy stick other kids cheer the players on.
CLOSE ON the graphics of a video game. The competition is stiff. PULL BACK TO REVEAL the players. One is MOLLY, an eight-year-old girl. The other is JUNIOR, a considerably younger spider monkey. Four other kids root & kibitz with the biggest cheerleader of all being SIMON MACKAY.
ACROSS THE ROOM - ALEX JAGGER - 7
sorts through the day's mail. Envelope after envelope is addressed to the Wizard of Elm Street, many in children's printing, delivered without benefit of an address. Alex almost passes one addressed on to him. He smells it. Perfume. He opens it with anticipation.
BACK AT THE VIDEO GAME - 8
Junior wins & does a back flip. The kids cheer for Junior & vie to play him next.
ALEX - 9
does a slow burn as he reads his letter. He slowly crushes it when he's through. Suddenly Junior bounds onto his shoulder, putting his arms around Alex's neck.
Junior, stick to video games. Life's not fair.
Junior, come on. Leave Alex alone.
Junior leaps over to Simon, who catches the monkey in his arms. The kids surround Simon, wanting to play some more, but Simon sees that something is troubling Alex.
That's it for today. Junior needs his rest. Saturday we'll have another tournament for the grand championship of Elm Street.
Simon reaches around to Junior's back.
INSERT SHOT - 10
Simon opens a hidden compartment under the monkey's fur REVEALING a high-tech control panel. He shuts Junior off.
BACK TO SCENE - 11
The computerized, mechanical monkey becomes inanimate.
Simon, when can we get our own monkeys?
The other kids want to know as well.
Christmas. By Christmas the toy shops will have an entire pet store full of Tranimals, dogs, cats, birds, mice, hamsters . . .
(puts his hand on boy's shoulder)
. . . So people like Ricky, who have allergies, can still have pets. People whose landlords won't allow animals will let them have Tranimals.
Simon, do we have to go now? My house is so boring.
Yeah, there's nothing to do at our homes.
Nothing to do? You call boating down the Amazon with crocodiles snapping at the rudder, or scaling Mt. Kilimanjaro where one false step could be your last, or battling the evil Lord Tartarian for control of the planet Pelsec nothing to do?
What do you mean? We can't do any of that stuff?
You can do all that & more. All you need is your imagination. There's no better place in the world to play. You can go anywhere, do anything, & have a hot lunch waiting when you're through.
INT. FRONT DOOR - DAY - 12
Excited by the realm of possibilities Simon has presented, the kids say good-bye & rush off to play at home. Simon waves good-bye.
INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY - 13
Alex comes in with the large stack of Simon's mail. The table is so cluttered there's no place to put it down. Simon enters.
Not much mail for you today.
I love opening envelopes. It's like unwrapping presents. Unless it's my electrical bill.
ALEX (finds spot, drops them)
How can anyone with such an organized mind live in such a disorganized house. Why not invent something to straighten this place up?
Then I'd never find anything. My clutter is very organized. Here . . .
(gestures around room then points to his head)
. . . and here.
Simon picks up a package from his stack of mail, looks at the postmark.
Hong Kong. Wonder what it is.
Simon shakes the package. As he excitedly opens it:
Where was your letter from, Alex?
Oh. From that opera singer?
From Darcy. Lindin gave her my old assignment! Can you believe that?
Life is full of surprises, that's for sure.
I don't like surprises. I want to know what's going to happen & be ready for it when it does.
Having opened the package, Simon takes out an antique necklace with flat, smooth, scrimshaw-etched shells of varying shapes & sizes. He appears troubled.
Simon, what is it?
Um. . . It's a necklace I gave to an old friend fourteen years ago. It was made in the eighteenth century by a sailor while he was in prison in Tangiers.
Simon searches through the box for a note, a message, something. But it's empty.
Why'd she send it back to you?
Simon gazes at the necklace.
Hopefully we can find out.
Simon rushes out of the room. Alex goes after him.
INT. WORKSHOP - DAY - 14
Simon rushes to the door of his inner sanctum, presses the numbered key pad & the door slides open. He rushes in. Alex hesitates at the door. Simon looks back.
Come on, we're mates now. I've no secrets from you.
INT. INNER SANCTUM - DAY - 15
As Alex enters he takes in the full scope of Simon's private workshop.
Okay, where were you during the six years when no one could find you?
That's another book.
Simon goes to his worktable.
CLOSEUP - 16
Simon slips the carved shells of the necklace off the strand & spreads them on his worktable. Laid flat they resemble pieces of a jigsaw.
SIMON - 17
on his stool, begins to assemble the pieces of the puzzle. Alex occasionally reaches over Simon's shoulder & fits pieces in. There's no competition here, just two men working well together. Throughout:
The design is scrimshaw. Most sailors carve it in whale's teeth or ivory tusks. But this is a one of a kind necklace. You have to fit the pieces of shell together in order to form the picture.
What's the picture of?
A whale capsizing a longboat.
Alex finds a central piece & fits it in.
Good one, Alex.
I've always been good at putting puzzle pieces together.
(looks at Simon)
So, who was the lucky lady you gave this to?
The most warm hearted, wonderful woman you'd ever want to meet. Tillie Kragle. There's not another living soul like Tillie.
Sounds like it was pretty serious.
Alex, Tillie was like a mother to me & a thousand other sailors she cooked for, cared for & pulled out of barroom brawls from Bombay to Borneo.
That does it.
The scrimshaw depicts what Simon described. He appears disappointed.
I was hoping there'd be a message from Tillie on it. I was sure there'd be.
Alex studies it, then:
Simon, lift up that side of the plexiglas.
Simon realizes what Alex is thinking. He & Alex each lift a side of the plexiglas sheet covering the worktable.
NEW ANGLE - 18
Through the bottom of the clear plexiglas we can SEE the other side of the necklace/puzzle. There, carved in the other side: "9/24/86 -- S.S. PEARL -- MONTERREY."
SIMON & ALEX - 19
stare at the cryptic message.
September twenty-fourth. That's tomorrow.
We've got to get to Monterrey! Tillie's in trouble!
How do you know it's trouble?
I know Tillie!
EXT. MONTERREY DOCKS - DAY - 20
CLOSE ON the S.S. PEARL'S name & registry number. PULL BACK TO REVEAL the freighter in port as tape barricades are stretched across the dock.
ANGLE - SIMON & ALEX - 21
approach a DOCK WORKER stretching out the barricades. Simon carries his bag.
Excuse me. Hi. Why the barricades?
Half the Pearl's crew came down with some kind a' bug yesterday. She's under quarantine. No one gets on or off 'til the Health Department Inspectors check her out.
Alex & Simon look at one another. Simon is very concerned.
EXT. DOCK - LATER - 22
CLOSE ON a PORT AUTHORITY OFFICER as an open wallet is thrust in his face, too close for him to focus on.
ANGLE - ALEX - 23
stands in front of him with Simon at his side.
County Health. If anyone's gotten on or off this ship I'm holding you responsible.
(put wallet in other Officer's face)
Both of you!
(puts wallet away)
Why'd it take so long to contact us?
Ship just docked, Sir.
During the above, Simon has withdrawn a futuristic-looking electronic device from his bag & scans the Officers as one would with a metal detector.
What's he doing?
Measuring contamination levels.
Lights on the device flash on & off. Warning tones BEEP. Simon appears concerned. He presses a button on the device & a compartment slides open. He holds it up to Officer #1.
Spit in here please.
And be careful, very careful not to get any on the dock . . . or your shoes.
The Officer leans close to the device & spits into it (behind a cupped hand of course).
A red warning light flashes on the device, accompanied by a rapid BEEP TONE.
What's that mean?!
Simon takes out two pieces of hard candy.
Don't worry, you'll be fine as long as you suck on these. Get out of those clothes & burn them. Then take a hot shower for at least ninety minutes. Relax for the rest of the day.
The Officers quickly unwrap the candies & pop them in their mouths.
We'll need quarantine clearance badges immediately.
Yes, Sir. Of course. Here they are.
Alex takes them, cautious not to be contaminated.
Hang in there.
Do what I told you & you'll be fine. But hurry.
The Officers rush off. Alex pins a badge on himself & hands one to Simon, then points at the electronic device.
What is that thing?
Anything I want it to be. Come on, we'll start our inspection in the galley. I hope Tillie's all right.
Simon puts the device away as they start up the gangway.
INT. GALLEY - DAY - 24
Two tough-looking SAILORS dodge flying pots & pans!
I've fed sailors from Istanbul to Madagascar & never poisoned an able-bodied one of 'em!
ANOTHER ANGLE - 25
Standing in the center of the galley like a Texan at the Alamo is TILLIE KRAGLE, a sixty-year-old whirlwind whose face & form fit her name. She holds two halves of a waffle iron, on in each hand.
Now move it out a' my galley 'fore I make your cheeks look like waffles!
She hurls one of the skillets & skitters past them, caroming off a storage cabinet & stopping at Alex's feet. PAN UP.
That's a warm-hearted, motherly Tillie?
The one & only.
Tillie, unable to see Alex & Simon from where she is, advances on the two Sailors like a gunfighter with the remaining waffle iron at her side.
I've defended my galleys from Jack Tars starved for grub & starved for love & never lost an onion or my pride. If I'd poisoned you, you sure as salt wouldn't be here to moan about it!
(spots Alex; raises waffle iron)
Who the devil are you?!
The Sailors look at Alex so he has to keep up the act. Simon can't be seen over the top of the counter. Alex touches his badge.
Get your nose into that pot over there, the one with the green steam cloudin' over it! But breathe in at risk of your life!
Touch one a' my pots, I'll flatten your hand like a dab!
Suddenly a SQUEEKING SOUND gets everyone's attention.
ANOTHER ANGLE - 26
Simon's hand is the only part of his body that can be SEEN above the counter. His index finger rubs across the stainless steel top. Everyone watches it as it stops & is lifted for examination.
Tillie stares at the finger, her heart starting to pound. When she sees Simon step out from behind the counter she's ready to rush over & squeeze him tightly, but Simon keeps the act going for the benefit of the Sailors.
There's probably enough fungus in this galley to condemn Cleveland!
Tillie pushes the warmth we witnessed momentarily back behind her tough veneer.
You must a' lost your way. Snow White ain't around. And don't whistle 'til your outside the bulkhead!
Tillie turns so she won't crack a smile.
ALEX (to Sailors)
All right, gentlemen, you're going to have to clear the galley now so we can investigate the source of this problem.
Alex escorts the Sailors toward the bulkhead. Behind them, Simon plays his role to the hilt.
The grease under this stove is so thick the cockroaches can't even get out!
You've got the perfect view!
Look at these pots. They're disgusting!
I've cooked in these pots for thirty-seven years!
Don't you think it's time you washed them?
How'd you like to inspect one from the inside!
Tillie reaches for Simon.
ANOTHER ANGLE - 27
Alex closes the bulkhead behind the Sailors.
BACK TO SIMON & TILLIE - 28
with their audience gone, Tillie lifts Simon up & spins him around.
Simon, I knew it! I knew you'd come!
I'm the only one he'd ever let do this to him!
Tillie squeezes Simon, then puts him down.
Still got the boys after you, eh?
Nothin' I can't handle. Lemme look at you. You've grown.
I've put on a little weight.
Good, you were always too skinny.
Tillie, this is my good friend & associate, Alex Jagger.
Tillie greets Alex with a hardy handshake & a slap on the shoulder.
Any friend of Simon's has me in his corner.
Simon's told me a lot about you.
Did he tell you about Singapore?
No. What happened in Singapore?
What didn't happen is more like it. Simon & I walked into this waterfront dive & the next thing we knew --
Tillie, I'm sure Alex would love to hear our adventures, but the legit health inspectors could show up any minute. What's going on? Why'd you send the necklace?
Simon, remember Eli Akers? Captain Akers? Ladies in every port used to claw & scratch over him.
I remember you doing your share of the clawing & scratching.
Well after twenty years he put on some age & some weight & I finally started lookin' good to him. We were gonna get spliced --
And then they come & tell me he accidentally fell overboard in Hong Kong harbor. Cracked his skull on the wharf they say. Eli could walk the port rail in a squall & not slip a step! Fall by accident?! In port?! No way. They killed him, I know it.
Why would someone want to kill him?
The Pearl got bought in Hong Kong. New owners brought in their own first mate, navigator, signalman, whole chain of command got out of whack. Captain's gotta be top ink or it's mutiny. So Eli went to have it out with them . . . next thing they say he . . .
. . . Story of my life. All my favorite people leave me.
Tillie, I'm so sorry.
TILLIE (squeezes Simon's hand)
But thank God some come back. Simon, I fed those gobs turned tuna. Nothin' serious, food poisoning, they'll get over it, but I had no choice.
Had to get us quarantined so the cargo couldn't be off-loaded 'til Simon could get here.
I feel it in my bones. A ship creaks louder when there's contraband in her hold. And this crossing's been an ear-splitter.
Alex looks as Simon wondering if this is another tall tale.
Tillie's always had reliable bones.
They've had a twenty-four hour watch on the forward hold since we set out a' Hong Kong.
I'll get in there for a quick look-see. Alex, stay here with Tillie --
No. If anyone's going to chance getting in there it'll be me.
Alex, I've been making my way through ships since I was a cabin boy. I can travel fore to aft through spaces other people don't even know are there.
Simon has taken some small items from his bag & put them in his pockets.
Simon, you could be getting in over your head.
Simon slips a drain cover in the floor aside.
Most things are over my head, Alex. I'm used to it. Get Tillie out of here. I'll meet you on shore in half an hour.
With that, Simon slips into the hole & is gone. Alex takes a deep breath to calm himself.
Has he always been like this? So bullheaded?
He's been full speed ahead since the day I met him.
Tillie goes over to the large pot boiling on the stove. She shuts off the flame & begins fishing around inside with a long pair of tongs. Throughout:
It was in Morocco. Three Jack Tars off a whaler were rippin' at each other's ears over me. When I didn't want any of 'em they got tough-nasty. The I hear this voice from behind say, 'Come one step nearer the lady & you'll have me to go through!' I turn around, there's no one there. Then I look down. It's Simon, standin' three-foot ten, but lookin' eight feet tall. I mean, you'd a' thought he had the tenth fleet behind him the way he stared those sea dogs down. But it was just him. And me. When the dust settled those whalers were blubber. And Simon & me, we were like Ducrabs. Know what Ducrabs are?
I have a feeling I'm about to.
They're two hermit crabs sharin' the same shell. It's wall to wall clawin' & grabbin', but Lord help the creature tries to separate 'em. Ah, got it!
Tillie pulls out a large, closed shell.
Oyster. After forty years aboard ships you find safe places to hide things. Here, put that down your pants. I gotta get some stow out a' my cabin before we meet Simon.
Tillie gives Alex the hot shell. He has to toss it between his hands before he carefully puts it down his pants.
INT. SHIP - MONTAGE - DAY - 29
Simon crawls, squeezes, slips & slithers though narrow crawl spaces, pips & tube ways. Some are tight fits, but he pushes onward holding a small flashlight.
Simon finally reaches a vent opening into the forward hold.
SIMON'S P.O.V. (Point of View) - THE FORWARD HOLD - 30
is small & empty except for several dozen crates on pallets in the center.
SIMON - 31
sets about opening the vent cover.
INT. TROYAN'S QUARTERS - CLOSE ON A COMPUTER SCREEN - DAY - 32
With the price of gold futures in various countries. A different music box plays.
I appreciate your cooperation & I will show my gratitude appropriately.
SHOT PULLS BACK TO INCLUDE a cellular phone as Troyan's hand hangs up the receiver.
FROM ACROSS THE ROOM - 33
Troyan swivels in his custom chair to face Jenks. The area behind Troyan is very bright allowing us the illusion of SEEING him when all we really SEE is his silhouette distorted by the back of the chair. The feeling we get here is of a strong, powerful man in complete control of his environment.
The quarantine will be lifted immediately. Prepare the cargo for unloading. Make sure the trucks are ready to transport it as soon as it clears customs.
Jenks. You could afford to be patient working for the CIA. Working for me affords you no luxury. We are behind schedule. The time must be made up before tonight.
Jenks exits. Troyan turns back to his bank of computers.
INT. FORWARD HOLD - DAY - 34
Simon pads across the crates. Using his version of a Swiss Army knife he pries one open. The nails SQUEEK.
OUTSIDE THE FORWARD HOLD - 35
The two Guards don't hear the noise. But Jenks comes down the passageway toward them.
IN THE HOLD
Simon removes one of a hundred transistor radios from inside the crate. He inspects it. Why all the fuss over transistor radios. Simon pries it open to examine the electronics inside. He removes one of the circuit modules.
THE BULKHEAD - 37
suddenly opens! The guards enter with Jenks!
SIMON - 38
quickly puts the radio back & closes the crate. Even though he does so quietly, the SOUND echoes through the hold!
JENKS - 39
senses go on the alert!
You, that way. You, around there!
The guards are sent to opposite sides of the crates. Jenks approaches from dead on!
SIMON - 40
hides amidst the crates. He reaches into his pocket.
ONE OF THE GUARDS - 41
walks toward Simon! Suddenly a mouse scurries out from between crates & scampers away between some others. It's enough to distract the guard & possibly explain the noise.
SIMON - 42
ducks around behind another crate. He removes a second Tranimal mouse from his pocket & turns it on. The little legs start churning before he puts it down.
THE OTHER GUARD - 43
moves through the crates looking high & low! CLOSE on his feet as he approaches Simon. Suddenly a mouse runs out in front of him.
SIMON - 44
sneaks around to the other side near the vent where he got in. He looks at the vent, gauging his chances for escape. He takes out the third & last mouse. He peeks out to see the guards converging to his right. Simon turns the mouse on, then sets it down. The little mechanical animal runs out about a foot, then suddenly starts spinning in a tight circle! Simon winces. He carefully reaches out & gives the mouse a flick with his finger. It takes off running. As the guards turn away, Simon bolts toward the vent, right into the barrel of Jenks' gun!
Simon touches the badge on his chest.
Health Inspector. Have a real rodent problem down here.
Jenks holds up one of the mice that he's caught, its little legs churning energetically.
Must've gotten into the vitamins.
Jenks cocks his gun.
Back to Top
END OF ACT ONE
INT. FREIGHTER - PASSAGEWAY - DAY - 45
Tillie & Alex come out of Tillie's quarters, Tillie with her duffle bag, Alex with Simon's carpet bag.
ANOTHER PASSAGEWAY - 46
Tillie & Alex come around a corner heading toward a stairway when they hear:
All right, you caught me, call the police, I'll confess everything.
You'll confess all right. But on this ship we interrogate our own way.
Alex & Tillie duck into the well behind the stairs. Alex puts Simon's bag down & draws his gun. He motions for Tillie to stay there & stay quiet.
The two Guards come down the steps ahead of Simon, with Jenks behind him, guns in hand.
Alex waits for the Guards to pass. One of them unlocks the brig door with a barred window in it. As Jenks & Simon walk off the stairs, Alex steps out, his gun aimed at Jenks! Alex is calm, an efficient, experienced agent.
Drop your weapon & step back. Either of them moves a finger, you get blown away.
But Jenks is also an efficient agent, albeit post facto. he keeps his weapon aimed at Simon.
You want to test my reflexes, pull the trigger.
Look, there are better ways to handle this. Why don't you both put your guns away & we'll work all this out.
Neither man lowers his gun. Alex stares at Jenks.
You'll never get the shot off.
No one like to take tests. Let's just --
Suddenly Tillie lunges out from behind Jenks & belts him with her duffel bag! His gun goes off but misses Simon, who, when he realizes he hasn't been shot, is very grateful. As Alex goes to get Simon, the two Guards race forward & jump him, knocking his gun loose.
Jenks recovers & tries to aim his gun, but Tillie belts him again with her duffel bag & his gun goes flying.
When it comes to self-defense, Simon is not a wallflower. He jumps into the fray between Alex & the Guards, able to use his size to his advantage.
THE MELEE - 47
is wild & wooly, & as long as it's three against three, Alex, Simon & Tillie more than hold their own. Simon spots his bag under the stairwell & tries to get to it, but the gunshot has brought others & our heroes are subdued. Simon's bag remains under the stairwell, unseen by Jenks & his men.
JENKS - 48
has retrieved his gun & holds it on Simon, Alex & Tillie.
INT. BRIG - DAY - 49
Simon, Alex & Tillie go into the brig. The iron door is locked behind them. Jenks looks in through the steel-barred window.
You better pray you have all the right answers.
I knew you were as rotten as your food!
Jenks exits up the stairs & the others disperse.
INT. FORWARD HOLD - DAY - 50
Customs officials inspect random crates. All contain home electronics, radios, stereos, VCRs. The senior CUSTOMS OFFICER signs the proper forms & hands it to the First Mate.
Cargo's approved for unloading. See you next trip.
He exists. The First Mate is glad to have this paper in hand.
INT. BRIG - DAY - 51
Sitting cross-legged on the office, Simon pulls the circuit module he took from the transistor radio out of his day-glow sock. He puts on his half-glasses (one lens has been broken in the fight) & begins to examine it. Alex looks for a way out of the brig. He checks out the door & lock, tests the strength of the steel bars. They're thick & solid. Throughout:
TILLIE (exhilarated by the fight)
Last time I felt like this was '73 in Marseilles. We were eating Bouillabaisse, Simon & me, when a free-for-all broke out, spread through the joint like wildfire! Glasses breakin', bodies flyin' past, teeth splasin' in our soup. Someone hit Simon with a raw flounder & I grabbed the gob & force fed Bouillabaisse through his nose!
(looks at Simon)
Ah, Simon, I forgot how boring life is without ya.
I've missed you too, Tillie. I'm glad I came.
Simon comes to the center of the room with the module.
They're smuggling advanced electronics inside radios, stereos. This circuit is too powerful. Far too advanced. This is meant to be part of a much more powerful & sophisticated mechanism.
Tillie, you said the S.S. Pearl has a new owner. Do you know who it is?
No, & if I don't it's not meant to be known. He made the crossing with us though, but never showed his face once between shores. But every night at three bells the watch was sent below. I figured it was his time to get out of his quarters, so one night I got in. Alex . . .
Tillie gestures to Alex's pants. He's not sure if his zipper is down or what.
The shell -- you didn't lose it during the ruckus -- say you didn't lose it!
Alex takes the closed oyster shell out of his pants & gives it to Tillie.
As a matter of fact I'm glad I had it.
Tillie breaks the shell open REVEALING a flat, foil-wrapped package. She unwraps the foil REVEALING several Polaroid photographs. Throughout:
I ain't never seen quarters on a ship outfitted like this. Like an Aquadorian jungle in there. Sticky, hot, plants everywhere. Music boxes, computers, it was weird.
(hands photos to Simon)
I took these.
As Simon looks at the photographs, his hands start to tense around them, his whole mood changing.
Was it very bright in there, Tillie, or did you use a flash?
Bright in there as sunlight off an Admiral's brass at noon.
Simon turns away, his entire body tensing. A deep scar has been uncovered, a button pushed.
SHOT MOVES IN ON Simon's face, his eyes intense, his jaw rigid. The words squeeze out between his lips.
Troyan. I know that name. You used to get your back up about him way back when.
Troyan is my nightmare, a curse I've lived with since we were young. In school we were dubbed the two students most likely to succeed, which was one student too many for Troyan. He locked me in the science lab & set it on fire, but I managed to get out . . . barely. When Troyan was expelled he swore he'd destroy me. And he's tried, many times over the years. In between he's built a powerful organization that feeds on destruction. If Troyan can't own it or control it he'll destroy it, or destroy anyone who stands in his way of getting it.
(looks at circuit)
Troyan . . . I should have known.
INT. TROYAN'S QUARTERS - DAY - 52
Another Music Box PLAYS as we FOCUS ON the Tranimal mouse in Troyan's powerful hand. There is tension in his fingers we've not seen before
I've only known one man in my life who'd use his genius to make something so trivial. What did he look like, the one who had this.
He was small --
JENKS (hands out)
Like this. You know, a dwarf.
Troyan slowly stands, his hand tightening around the toy mouse, his ring cutting into it.
Simon MacKay! I knew it!
Troyan squeezes the mechanical mouse until it breaks apart, its inner workings dropping to the floor.
INT. BRIG - DAY - 53
CLOSE ON one of the photographs Tillie took magnified through the remaining lens of Simon's spectacles. the printing on one of the computer screens can barely be made out.
ANOTHER ANGLE - 54
Alex studies the photograph.
Looks like Troyan purchased the mineral rights under a lot of private property in a town called Milford.
There's a Milford inland from Monterrey.
There's one house here on Lotus Drive he purchased outright. What do you think, Simon? What's he up to?
Simon fingers the sophisticated circuit board in his hand.
The answer lies in whatever it is he plans to assemble with these components once he's smuggled them into the country.
Suddenly the intensely-bright light of the ship's emergency floodlights explodes in through the barred window in the cell door! Simon hides the circuit module back in his sock. Alex pockets the photographs.
Footsteps echo louder as they approach the door. An ominous shadow slides across the cell as the man appears at the barred window, silhouetted against the bright floods. Alex squints to make out his features but the bright backlight prohibits it.
I've waited too many years for this moment.
This is between you & me, Troyan. Let them go.
Ah, Simon, still playing fair. Haven't you learned that I don't play fair. I play to win.
So do I.
When you disappeared for so many years I was afraid you'd died & deprived me of my greatest pleasure.
How 'about the pleasure of my hands around your neck?!
Tillie reaches through the bars but can't get Troyan. Simon urges her to show restraint.
Tillie, Tillie, it's all right. He'll get what he deserves.
What he deserves is sharks pickin' the flesh off his bones!
I'm afraid that even lies in your futures. When I return from shore, you'll be moved into a ballast tank, & when we're at sea I'll order it flooded. You'll appreciate this, Simon. I'm having an underwater camera installed so I can watch you gasp your last breath of life.
That's very creative. Uninspired but I suppose it's as much as can be expected from you.
Simon, I pray your soul survives death so it can witness what I accomplish tonight. Then you can suffer in your own, private hell at not being able to stop me this time.
The floodlights go off. Troyan melts into the shadows. Alex looks out through the bars, then back at Simon.
Couldn't get a good look at him in that light.
Troyan never liked people to see him. He's had plastic surgery more than once. I doubt if even I could recognize him now.
Simon takes out a small harmonica & starts playing a little TUNE over & over again. One note is discordant & irritating.
If you're going to play a funeral dirge, at least hit the right notes.
These are the right notes.
OUTSIDE THE BRIG - 55
in the stairwell is Simon's bag. Each time Simon plays the tune, the flap on his bag is knocked up by something inside trying to get out.
Back to Top
END OF ACT TWO
INT. BRIG - DAY - 56
Simon continues to play the same tune of the harmonica.
INT. PASSAGEWAY - DAY - 57
The object inside Simon's bag finally makes good its escape, flopping out & tumbling to the floor. It's a stocky little toy man names GRUNT, the expression on his face that of a wrestler in pain.
Simon plays a different TUNE.
Grunt's arms rotate, standing him upright on squat, muscular legs.
Alex, keep a watch. He'll be coming from under the stairwell.
Grunt. Tell me when he's under the bar.
Simon plays a different TUNE. Curious, Alex looks out the barred window.
Grunt's body lowers on his spring-loaded legs. When the springs disengage the toy jumps high & far toward the brig. Alex isn't sure how to react to what he sees coming.
At least he seems to like your music.
Let me see.
Tillie joins Alex as they watch Grunt reach the cell door.
All right, when he jumps up, catch him!
Facing one another, Alex & Tillie each stretch one arm out through the bars, briefly reacting to their intimate positioning.
ON THE STAIRS - 58
One of the guards walks down toward the brig!
IN THE BRIG - 59
Simon plays his TUNE & Grunt springs straight upward! Alex & Tillie reach for him but miss & he falls back to the floor!
Play it again, Simon.
ON THE STAIRS - 60
The guard has heard the noise & puts his hand on his gun.
BACK TO SCENE - 61
Simon plays the TUNE. Grunt squats down, then springs upward! Alex & Tillie reach for him! Alex catches Grunt's arm & pulls him in to the cell a split second before the guard comes around the corner.
Alex hides Grunt in his pocket as the guard looks in through the bars. Simon plays the harmonica as a condemned prisoner would. He hits a note he shouldn't & Grunt jumps in Alex's pocket! Simon blanches but Alex covers & the guard moves on. Tillie watches him through the bars.
Alex takes Grunt out of his pocket.
Okay, we got him in, now how is he supposed to help us get out?
Put him between the bars & pivot his arms out to the sides.
ALEX (as he does it)
Simon, these bars are solid steel. You can't expect this little guy to --
Little guys can do a lot more than most people think. Just make sure he's centered between the bars.
Simon plays the harmonica & Grunt's powerful arms press outward. Living up to his name, Grunt grunts as he strains against the bars which start to spread! Like a little Hercules between the pillars, Grunt grimaces as he pushes the thick, steel bars until one snaps!
EXT. FREIGHTER - DAY - 62
A sailor stands guard at the top of the gangway. Suddenly an arm comes around his neck & pulls him backwards! Alex applies a chock hold & the man passes out. Alex drags him behind an outcropping on the deck. Simon, carrying his bag, & Tillie appear. The three stay low as they sneak down the gangway.
EXT. DOCK - DAY - 63
A FISHERMAN holds his line in the water. Near him is his old motorcycle & sidecar. Alex, Simon & Tillie rush up. Alex shows his identification.
Federal officer. I'm afraid I need to commandeer your vehicle.
You'll be reimbursed for any damage.
No, I mean, you best not 'cause the thing don't hardly run.
EXT. FREIGHTER - DAY - 64
Jenks & one of the other guards kneel over the sailor Alex took out. Jenks scans the area. He spots Simon, Alex & Tillie on the dock.
There they are!
EXT. DOCK - DAY - 65
Alex spots Troyan's men running down the gangway after them!
There's no time! Get in!
Alex helps Tillie & Simon into the sidecar. Alex kicks the old motorcycle's starter. It won't start.
What's the best way to Milford?
FISHERMAN (re (regarding) motorcycle)
Anyway but on that.
The motorcycle finally sputters to life. The old Fisherman hands Simon an old, leather helmet & darkened goggles.
Milford's out Route Nine 'bout forty miles. Lotsa luck.
Alex puts the bike in gear & it lurches forward.
NEAR THE FREIGHTER - 66
Jenks & his men climb in two vehicles on the dock, a jeep & a pickup truck.
ON THE DOCK - 67
The motorcycle lurches along in spurts & starts, the sidecar bouncing over the planks.
The linkage is slipping!
Simon pulls on the helmet & goggles, leans out of the sidecar & starts working on the engine with tools from his bag.
They're in our wake!
Alex cuts the bike hard to the left, the sidecar lifting partially off the ground! Tillie holds onto Simon who keeps working on the motorcycle despite the danger.
Simon, I forgot the way my blood starts pumpin' around you.
Tillie's eyes go wide as she sees where Alex is headed!
ANOTHER ANGLE - 68
There's a narrow, L-shaped space between a building & dock machinery! Tillie pulls Simon into the sidecar! Alex squeezes the motorcycle through, the sidecar barely slipping underneath the overhang!
ON THE DOCK - 69
The jeep & truck skid across the wood as they see Alex take a route they can't follow! We SEE Jenks in the truck holding a CB (radio). The jeep takes off in one direction, Jenks in the other!
ON THE OTHER SIDE OF THE DOCK - 70
The motorcycle sputters across to the intersecting wharf! Simon reaches in between the pipes! The motorcycle hits a bump! The tool is knocked out of Simon's hand into the linkage! The engine stalls three feet from the edge of the wharf.
THE JEEP - 71
speeds around the corner.
THE TRUCK - 72
around the other! Jenks sees the motorcycle at the edge of the wharf, a sitting duck!
JENKS (on CB)
Ram them over the edge!
THE JEEP - 73
accelerates toward the motorcycle!
SIMON - 74
leans halfway out of the sidecar to retrieve the tool, which he does! Alex kicks the starter down! The motorcycle won't start!
THE JEEP - 75
bears down on them!
ALEX - 76
kicks the starter again & again -- Nothing! Simon makes mechanical adjustments!
Try it now!
Alex does -- it won't start!
THE JEEP - 77
is almost on them!
Its' now or never!
SIMON - 78
makes another adjustment!
Alex kicks the starter! The engine comes to life! Alex pops the clutch! The bike lurches forward! The jeep tries to adjust! No time! Brakes lock! Wheels skid off the edge of the wharf! Men jump! Jeep splashes into the ocean followed shortly thereafter by the men.
ON THE WHARF - 79
The truck is still coming after them! Alex gives it full throttle! It doesn't respond!
It's still slipping!
IN THE TRUCK - 80
Jenks leans out the passenger window, aims his gun & FIRES!
THE MOTORCYCLE - 81
The bullet ricochets off the sidecar! The truck is gaining! Simon keeps working on the engine! Another bullet barely misses! Alex cuts around a corner! There it is, open road away from the wharf! But the motorcycle can't pick up speed!
THE TRUCK - 82
closes around! The rough wharf changes to smooth road. Now Jenks can get a good shot. He aims!
SIMON - 83
leans far out of the sidecar to make a final adjustment!
JENKS - 84
pulls the trigger!
engine roars & the bike surges like a Harley in overdrive! As the bullet hits their dust Simon is thrown back against Tillie who holds on to him for dear life!
ANOTHER ANGLE - 86
The motorcycle roars away from the truck like it was standing still! Jenks can't believe his eyes as he watches the old motorcycle & sidecar disappearing from sight.
EXT. SUBURBAN COMMUNITY - ALLEY - AFTERNOON - 87
CLOSE ON a large crack in the pavement where the earth beneath has shifted causing the alley to severely buckle. OPEN TO FIND Simon, Alex & Tillie hiding in an alley, the motorcycle nearby. They're surreptitiously watching.
A HOUSE - 88
down the street where men in identical coveralls carry in crates from a moving van. It's a tract home in a middle-class neighborhood. People mow their lawns. Kids ride their bikes home form school. Alex, Simon & Tillie duck back when they see Jenks arrive in his truck & go inside the house.
IN THE ALLEY - 89
Alex double checks the photograph Tillie took, acknowledging what they already suspected.
That's the house Troyan bought.
Simon's fingers the sophisticated circuit module he found in the transistor radio.
If what he's assembling in there is supposed to be used tonight, these must be merely the finishing touches.
Simon starts drumming with his hands on the edge of the sidecar. Alex & Tillie each turn to inform the other.
Guess they both know Simon. Simon's eyes focus on the buckled asphalt. His drumming slows as he stares at it. His drumming stops.
One of the richest gold mines in California history was discovered outside Monterrey near the turn of the century. But after the San Francisco earthquake it had to be shut down with most of the gold still unmined.
The mine was on a major fault. There was fear that further mining could trigger another massive earthquake.
Simon, you're still an infomaniac!
Alex does a subtle double take on Tillie's comment.
Infomaniac, Alex. Info, as in information.
Hey, nothing you do would surprise me.
You think Troyan's tunneling into the old mine from the basement of that house, is that it?
A look of horror comes across Simon's face.
He won't go to the trouble to mine . . . Not Troyan. That's not inspired enough for him.
Building an electronic device of some sort to destabilize the fault, split it open, then come in after seemingly natural earthquake, &, owning the mineral rights, lay claim to the exposed gold mine. That's Troyan's way.
We've got to find a way in there.
Tillie, you've got to warn people in the area. Tell them to get out of here, right away!
How are you gonna get in there?
As best we can. Hurry Tillie, get everyone out of Milford now!
EXT. HOUSE - DAY - 90
As workers carry in another crate, we can SEE the tight security on the house!
INT. HOUSE - BASEMENT - AFTERNOON - 91
An impressive device dominates the center of the basement. It's globe top is being bombarded by four infrared lasers emanating from lenses in the corners of the room. The globe rests on a square control panel containing dials, gauges & meters registering levels of light & heat. Below the control panel is a clear, tubular pedestal inside of which is a composite infrared laser wider in diameter & brighter than the four feeding it. the composite laser goes through the basement floor, presumably deep into the earth below. The technicians working there wear dark-tinted face shields attached to headbands.
RACK FOCUS TO Troyan's hand pushing Jenks against the wall. Jenks' protective face shield is skewed aside. He has to squint in the bright laser light.
I should kill you for letting MacKay get free!
Jenks knows better than to make excuses. PAN ALONG Troyan's arm TO his face, covered by his dark-tinted shield. All we SEE are the lasers reflected off it.
We have to expedite the operation.
(turning to someone o.s.)
Go to full power!
ANGLE - THE DEVICE - 92
Gauges start to rise as the intensity of the composite laser increases!
Back to Top
END OF ACT THREE
EXT. NEIGHBORHOOD STREET - AFTERNOON - 93
Tillie drives down another street in the area on the motorcycle, a little like Chicken Little warning that the sky is falling. She yells to people washing their cars, a mailman delivering the mail, teen-agers & kids playing near their house.
Listen everybody! You gotta get out a' your houses, out a' the area! There's gonna be an earthquake! Hurry! There's no time! Call your neighbors, tell 'em to get out fast!
Hey, go back to whatever funny farm you escaped from!
The Teen-ager & his friends laugh at Tillie & it's clear that everybody in the neighborhood thinks she's crazy.
EXT. HOUSE - AFTERNOON - 94
One of the workers comes out of the house & goes into the back of the moving van.
IN THE BACK OF THE VAN - 95
The worker picks up a small crate. Simon is behind it.
Before the worker can react, Alex steps out & decks him with a solid right to the chin.
EXT. HOUSE - AFTERNOON - 96
Alex comes out of the truck wearing the worker's coveralls. He carries the small crate in his arms. TRACK WITH him toward the house. Suddenly a drill bit about an inch in diameter comes out of the top of the crate.
What are you doing?
SIMON'S VOICE (from inside the crate)
With that, the top of a small, toy periscope pops up out of the hole. Other workers come out of the house.
The periscope turns toward the workers
The periscope disappears back into the crate. Holding his head down, Alex carries the crate toward the front door.
INT. HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - AFTERNOON - 97
The living room has been transformed into a high-tech facility with free-standing techno-mechanics connected by massive cables. Workers monitor the machinery.
Alex enters holding the crate. The periscope eases up again adding to Alex's paranoia.
SIMON'S P.O.V. THROUGH PERISCOPE - 98
the periscope's fisheye lens allows Simon to take in everything in the room.
BACK TO SCENE - 99
The crate is getting heavy in Alex's arms.
ALEX (sotto voice)
If we ever get out of this I'm sending you to Weight Watchers.
Alex spots some other workers coming up stairs from the basement. They remove their darkened face shields & hand them on pegs next to a heavy, steel door. The glow from the lasers below can be seen.
Alex carries the crate toward the basement steps.
INT. BASEMENT - AFTERNOON - 100
CLOSE ON the main gauge in the control panel, its needle halfway between zero 7 the red, danger zone. PULL BACK TO SEE the composite laser, so bright it turns the entire room red.
ALEX - 101
sets the crate down at the side of the room & starts to make his way toward Troyan, both of them unrecognizable behind the face shields.
INSIDE THE CRATE - 102
Simon studies the laser generator through the periscope, impressed & frightened by Troyan's brilliance.
IN THE BASEMENT - 103
Troyan nods to Jenks, who takes his cue.
Evacuate the area! Seal the room!
The workers move toward the stairs to exit. Alex is caught between a rock & a hard place. He can't pick up the crate & carry it back out, & he can't leave Simon down here. Jenks comes over to him.
Let's go, out!
Alex glances back at the box, then at Troyan near the stairs. He starts toward the stairs & Troyan. Jenks starts to turn away when he notices:
THE PERISCOPE - 104
sticking out of the crate turning.
JENKS - 105
strides over to the crate from behind so Simon cannot see him through the periscope! Jenks reaches down!
ALEX - 106
has a quick decision to make! He dashes toward Jenks! Jenks pulls open the crate REVEALING Simon inside! Alex tackles Jenks & the two begin a knock-down, drag-out on the floor! Troyan starts to leave.
SIMON - 107
jumps out of the box wearing the tinted motorcycle goggles. He aims an unusual-looking weapon at Troyan!
Hold it right there, Troyan! It's all over.
Alex delivers a solid blow to Jenks, who tumbles backwards. Alex, his face shield having been knocked off, stands next to Simon.
Simon, you're such a pleasure to grapple with. A constant challenge.
I'm afraid this time the pleasure is all mine, Troyan.
TROYAN (to Jenks)
Take that toy away from him.
Jenks hesitantly approaches Simon. Simon cocks his weapon.
Come one step closer & I'll fire!
You forget that I know you, Simon. You would never use a real weapon.
Depends on what you mean by real.
Simon aims his weapon. Troyan snaps his fingers & two guards with automatic weapons come back down the stairs & aim them at Simon & Alex.
Troyan walks forward & stops in front of Simon.
There's no more time for games.
Troyan takes the weapon from Simon. He aims it at Simon & pulls the trigger! Bubbles come out of it, popping on Simon's face.
TROYAN (to Jenks)
Radio the helicopter!
I couldn't be happier that you're going to be able to watch my demonstration from up close. I'm only sorry I won't be able to see you burned alive.
(goes to stairs)
Oh, don't bother trying to deactivate my little toy. The process, once begun, can't be stopped, or reversed, even by you. Enjoy your last five minutes on Earth.
Troyan climbs the stairs, followed by the gunman. When he's o.s. Alex races after him.
ON THE STAIRS - 108
The heavy, steel door has been shut & locked tight. Alex thrusts against it but it's of no use.
SIMON - 109
circles the laser unit in the center of room. The main gauge is three-quarters of the way to the red, danger zone!
EXT. STREET - CLOSE ON TILLIE - AFTERNOON - 110
If I'm lyin' I'll tie an anchor to my tongue & swallow it! You gotta get everybody out a' here before the place splits wide open!
ANOTHER ANGLE - 111
Two POLICEMENT stand on either side of Tillie at their patrol car. People in the neighborhood watch.
Ma'am, would you please get inside the patrol car?
All these people's lives are hangin' by a ratline! Just come with me, follow me, I'll show you the house!
Just get in the car, ma'am. Watch your head.
The Policeman puts Tillie in the backseat.
Don't ever ask me to buy tickets to the Policemen's Ball!
The officer closes the door, looks at his partner as if to say, "We've got a real loony here."
PAN UP TO a helicopter flying overhead.
INT. HELICOPTER - AFTERNOON - 112
CLOSE ON a digital stopwatch in Troyan's hand as it counts down toward zero. It's at two minutes & twenty-five seconds!
Sir, we should get back to the ship.
No. I want to see everything as it happens.
The watch continues to countdown!
INT. BASEMENT - AFTERNOON - 113
The meter has climbed closer to the red zone! Simon is at the crate in which Alex smuggled him inside. He gets the periscope & brings it back to Alex.
Break this & take out the mirrors!
(looks at rising gauge)
We don't have much time! These four infrared lasers are being amplified & directed into the fault. We've got to stop it before it heats the rock to four-hundred degrees!
ALEX (breaking periscope)
What happens then?!
The water trapped inside turns to steam. It can't escape so pressure builds up. When the vapor pressure exceeds the fracture point of the rock, it explodes triggering an earthquake!
Alex takes two small, round mirrors out of the periscope, Simon takes one of them.
Hold you mirror in front of that laser, reflect it down to me! Alex. Keep a steady hand.
CLOSE ON ONE OF THE FOUR - 114
incoming lasers. Alex, holding the small mirror between his thumb & forefinger, lifts it into the laser's path, deflecting it to the left & downward!
SIMON - 115
holds the other mirror & carefully slips it into the path of the deflected laser, redirecting it toward the:
CONTROL PANEL - 116
The gauge is at 380 degrees & climbing! MUSIC & tension BUILD as Alex & Simon hold the mirrors absolutely ready to allow the laser to burn through the cover of the control panel.
SIMON - 117
pivots the mirror ever so slightly to cut out a rectangular opening.
Steady, Alex. Steady . . .
(completes the rectangle)
. . . That's it!
They withdraw the mirrors & rush to the control panel! Alex pulls out the severed piece.
Very carefully, Alex.
Once it's out, Simon looks inside. there are two, thin lasers running vertically about five inches apart. Behind them, circuit modules similar to the one Simon took out of the radio.
INT. HELICOPTER - AFTERNOON - 118
From an aerial view of the unsuspecting suburban community, SHIFT FOCUS TO the digital stopwatch in Troyan's hand: 59 . . .58 . . . 57.
INT. BASEMENT - AFTERNOON - 119
Simon carefully reaches between the lasers. He grasps a circuit module & pulls it out! Nothing happens! the gauge reaches 390 degrees! Simon hurriedly starts emptying his pockets looking for something, anything he can use! There are marbles, pieces of wire, a pair of needlenose pliers, a compass, little toy animals, a ball & some jacks.
What can I do to help, Simon?
Simon takes the wire & needlenose pliers. He lays the wire across the circuit module between two diodes. He picks up one of the metal jacks with the pliers & holds it under one of the lasers inside the control panel! The laser melts the tip of the metal jack! Simon uses it as a solder to connect the wire between the diodes!
The gauge is at 397 degrees . . . 398 degrees!
INT. HELICOPTER - CLOSEUP - AFTERNOON - 120
Troyan's hand grips his watch tightly as it ticks off the seconds . . . 10 . . . 9 . . . 8.
INT. BASEMENT - AFTERNOON - 121
Simon completes the soldering! He carefully reaches in between the lasers! 399 degrees! Alex tenses!
INT. HELICOPTER - AFTERNOON - 122
TIGHT ON Troyan's watch . . . 5 . . . 4 . . . 3.
INT. BASEMENT - AFTERNOON - 123
Simon puts the module back in place & everything shuts down . . . The room goes dark as the laser light goes off . . . The wonderful relief of silence.
INT. HELICOPTER - CLOSEUP - AFTERNOON - 124
Troyan's watch hits zero & stops. Nothing happens below.
Troyan's hand grips the watch as if to break it.
This is the last time he'll disrupt my plans! I'll destroy him . . . if it's the last think I do I'll destroy Simon MacKay.
Troyan angrily throws the watch out of the helicopter!
EXT. HOUSE - AFTERNOON - 125
PAN DOWN FROM the retreating helicopter TO a police car in front of the house, Tillie & the two Officers approaching.
INT. BASEMENT - AFTERNOON - 126
Simon is putting the jacks & things back in his pockets. Alex looks at the now dormant device, then at Simon.
Remember when I complained that this was going to be a boring assignment? Forget I ever said it.
ANGLE - THE BASEMENT DOOR - 127
It's opened from the outside. Tillie appears, followed by one of the Officers. She rushes down the stairs.
Simon! Simon, Alex am I in time?! They wouldn't listen to me! I finally had to tell 'em my headshrinker lived here!
Just in time, Tillie! You made it just in the nick of time.
As Alex goes to talk to the Police Officer, who's staring in disbelief at what he sees, Tillie comes to Simon.
How did you manage without me around for all these years, Simon? Good thing for you I'm ready for dry dock.
Simon, from now on I'm gonna take care a' you. And Alex.
Tillie, whipping her arm around to point to Alex, who has walked up behind her, accidentally slaps him in the face.
Oh, sorry. Are you all right?
I'm fine, Tillie.
As Tillie makes a fuss over Alex, Simon smiles at the prospect of the three of them together, and we:
Back to Top
END OF ACT FOUR
EXT. ELM STREET - SIMON'S HOUSE - DAY (TO ESTABLISH) - 128
INT. SIMON'S HOUSE - KITCHEN - DAY - 129
Simon's kitchen is a wonderful melding of high-tech 7 comfort, functional appliances & whimsical gadgetry. Tillie stirs two large pots on the stove. She adds and entire box of salt to one of them. Throughout:
Wha'da'ya do with a drunken sailor, offer yourself to the nearest jailer, make up a tale or make his bail or bust him out in the morning.
Tillie opens the refrigerator to get some butter. A polite, COMPUTERIZED VOICE comes from it.
Good morning. Just so you know, the cottage cheese is about to spoil.
Ah, tell it to your toaster!
She takes the butter & shuts the door.
Morning, Tillie. We have any fresh juice?
Ask the refrigerator.
I never talk to an appliance with a better vocabulary than me.
Alex tastes the contents of the bowl Tillie poured the salt in. He cringes.
Tillie, I think this soup has a little too much salt.
TILLIE (refers to other pot)
This one's for the soup. That one's for the soul.
We're not talkin' fillet, Alex. We're talkin' soul of Tillie. Don't get salt water out a' your system overnight. Now I just gotta get used to a galley that don't sway.
Simon enters a bit frazzled.
Tillie, what did you do to the den?!
Put things away in their proper place.
I can't find anything. It's all . . . not where it's supposed to be.
Simon files everything under C, for clutter.
Not as long as I'm in charge. I run a tight ship. A place for everything & everything stowed in its place.
Simon . . .
Linden called early this morning.
SIMON (mood elevating)
ALEX (shakes his head)
They impounded the ship, arrested the crew that was involved, but Troyan . . . He was nowhere around.
Simon digests the news.
Sherlock Holmes had Moriarty I'm cursed with Troyan.
Reminds me of the Gibraltar Pirate. The Gray Ghost we'd call him. Foggy night through the Straights you could hear the groan of his rigging but never see him. But you'd know he was there, somewhere off your wake, waitin' for the right moment to strike.
As Tillie becomes more engrossed in her tall tale, Alex & Simon slip out of the room without her noticing.
No matter where you deploy your watch, his pirates would lay siege from somewhere else! Knives slicing through the fog! Bullets tearing at the deck! Brave men would --
Tillie turns to see that she's by herself. She hesitates for a beat, then turns to the Refrigerator.
Brave men would hide below & not come out 'til dawn.
EXT. SIMON'S HOUSE - DAY - 130
As we leave Elm Street, Tillie's voice can still be heard.
TILLIE (voice over)
And in the morning everything precious but your life itself would be gone.
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Page property of Michael Berk & Douglas Schwartz
Draft Script from The Michael Berk Collection